humph its been quite some time that i blog.
Today is a saturday and im stuck in the office rotting. sigh~ what a day to start with.
I've realised that im changing each day. Not to a better person.. Maybe is because of the things that evolves around me recently i guess. Work is stressful. Alot of you might think that im actually very fortunate to work with my dad as it gives me freedom, money and i relaxation. I agreed that i did have freedom and ya the pay is not bad.. but.. im getting more and more stressful. I have to handle every little things, including of paying bills for workers etc. All the invoices, quotations, workdone report etc got to be done by me.. those worker's particulars, everyday's needs, housing, medical, renewal/cancellation of workpermit is also done by me, office's needs, stock taking, records of acounts, and many more..and in these few months, my dad employ another 120 foreign workers to our company..can you imagine? 120.. it sounds cool huh but to me is a burden. i need to go all the way to tanjong pagar to register courses for them, take their worker permit, update of particulars, lodging, etc.. small little things they will just come up to me and want me to settle for them.
Last month was the worst. One of my manager went back to china for 3 weeks and he just simply push all his work to me. i dont even know what to do and he just said one sentence to me ' you dont know just learn. you can do it'. The problem is not whether i will learn from it or not.. but is the matter whether i KNOW what to do or not. and these 3 weeks was in a total mess and phone calls keep coming in to ask me ... i thought i can handle it but... and this person told me this matter is urgent that person urge me to finish the work for him.. bear in mind theres only 1 person doing all the jobs.. but i doubt they understand.. wanted to pour these out to anyone but.. just dont wish to as i know people around me is already vex about their own stuffs. And my students happened to be taking their piano exams in these few months... and extra work for me too.. sign~
And it leads me to become an impatient, easily anger person. Some times i just feel like shouting, dont feel like doing anything.. but i tried not to show it out to people around me. Im just too tired...Just happened that i came to join CCI and tend to go more to their events as i can really drown all my problems and enjoy myself in the events, dont have to think of how people look at me etc...but maybe thats the problem that leads me to my relationship with him.. hai cant blame anyone for this...i did not mend it as soon as possible and just felt sorry that i have neglected him..
To you: not that i dont want to say out my pproblem..is just that i dont know how to and where to start from..i dont wish to pour in my sorrows to you and made you worried bout me but i think im a bad person to really hide my emotions...just felt that things could have been different if i can take stress easily..regretted.. How i wish that i was given another chance.... but.... just hate all these.
Just not long ago, i went to collect worker's workpermit and guess what.. i ran over a cat... darn shitty.. i was feeling very guilty and sad... and finally i get to cry out all my feelings that i have surplus(not sure how its spelling) for the week.. the feeling is really shitty.. till now im still feeling guilty to the cat. im really sorry. and at night, when im in the car, there is another cat that jumped up to my car and stared at me.. i was really scared.. and i felt so helpless.. really helpless..
alot of times i just felt like crying out but i cant.. as i will have swollen eyes the next day.. i cant let my parents to know that i have been crying...so i can only dropped a few drops of tears..
humph thats why im having mix feelings... and i tend to forget things that i have done just a few seconds ago.. and im getting worst each day... just wondering whether i can still hold on to it.... My dad keep telling me that i need to master all the things and handled all for him... but im just not up to that yet.. stress, sadness, gulit etc just keeps on pouring... sorry guys if i have showed attitude to you... i will try not to if i can...ya..
Heaven will know....
Peggy signed off @ 11.15am
[[Wishes upon the star]]
- able to eat gelare ice cream
- clean up my room (but shifting house so haha
- levis jeans
- go on a tour this year
- able to go chocolate bar
- a new watch (big watch, either in white or black)
- pass my organ grade 8 practical
- able to meet up the 17 bunch of joteks again
- if i got the money: LV Wallet/ Coach wallet
- learn diving
- Be Happy
[[Bitches]]
|| tracy ||
michelle ||
|| angie ||
kat ||
|| Catherine ||
Xiuqin ||
|| meiqi ||
[[Buddiess ]]
|| mick ||
|| said ||
tom ||
|| joan ||
liuyong ||
|| jeremy ||
abel ||
|| 4hao ||
|| cecilia ||
shijian ||
|| abel ||
seewee ||
[[ Band pross ]]
|| jiahui ||
hanyuan ||
|| sue anne ||
winson ||
|| cindy ||
Edmund ||
|| jia wei ||
Zhi zi ||
|| Ming Wei ||
Lifen ||
|| Joelly ||
Doleen ||
|| Dennis ||
Alan ||
|| Derek ||
James ||
|| Yiting ||
Nasir ||
|| Liangjie ||
spband||
[[ DMMT pross ]]
|| keying ||
Jenna ||
|| sharifah ||
mr ahmad ||
|| claire ||
cailing ||
|| heather ||
Shih Han ||
|| marcus ||
[[ speech ]]
A Person's greatest archievement is to forgive people's wrong and to forget bout the unpleasant past.
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